Losing your memory is no small ordeal. I'm sure there's a number of people out there who think losing their memory wouldn't be so bad, or even give them an advantage. Believe me when I tell you it's not worth it. I've started this log for a number of reasons, but mostly because I refuse to lose my past again...
I awoke at the helm of a spaceship that I cannot remember, but the controls somehow feel familiar and I am surprised to find I know how to work them. My ship is suspended in a hangar inside the uiversity of the Cistuvaert system, or so my navigational controls tell me. I guess I am some sort of miner, since I have some simple mining equipment installed on my vessel.
There's just one real clue to my identity, that isn't just a meaningless trinket anyone could buy in a shop. This elegant tattoo on my face. A small scar runs throught it, which I take as proof that the tattoo has been there for at least a year. Probably a lot longer, as it has already started to fade. I have to assume Grismar is my name, as it is on the expired mining contract I found beneath a chair. And judging by the language I know, I'm Gallentean.
I decide to let things rest for the moment and get some work done, earn some cash. Perhaps some of my memories will return with time.
I've made some money and met a friendly agent by then name of Nedastier Lerveine. He's been friendly enough to provide me with some simple jobs, which are helping me get my bearings. During one of his missions, I ran into Major Skelly, who felt I would be good material for the corporation he works for. The corporation that employed me hasn't shown a lot of interest in my person and I wouldn't miss it at all. With nothing to lose and some friends to gain, I agree and join with the Second-Face Interactive.
I found I will need to make a small fortune if I am to travel to most Gallente worlds. The more places I visit, the higher the chance someone will recognize me and be able to tell me of my past... I still have much to learn though, if I want to make my fortune soon. I've decided to spend some time studying learning techniques and will start improving my mining and refining skills afterward.
There's more to making some money than I thought, the learning curve is pretty steep. I can see it will take me months at least to work my way up to a ship fast enough to travel the Gallente worlds. I've decided to focus on what appears to be my former profession, mining, to make money and I have studied the control of mining drones as well as mining. I've also read up on flying space vessels and I hope to find myself a decent Imicus Frigate on the local market.
I've decided the only way to make money is spending it and getting a better ship with improved mining equipment will speed things up considerably.
With my new Imicus, which I named the Cabal II, and two professional mining lasers and drones, I am mining a lot faster than I was before. I've also learned how to quickly modify my hull to optimize for either speed or cargo space. At the end of this day, I even hope to install an Afterburner on my ship, to shorten those boring trips back and forth.
Those speed upgrades will be of great use when I'm helping Skelly out with what he calls 'group mining'. With him mining and me flying back and forth between the station and the asteroid fields, we work a lot faster than both independantly. I've also found that setting a bookmark 20 clicks beyond your actual target shortens travel times considerable, as warping toward them stops you 20 km short.
I ran a couple of searches on the nets and found a log entry about someone called Grismar flying a ship named Cabal. He was a miner and his position (Mimime) was fairly close to this system. Surely close enough to be here now, so I wonder... I'll travel there soon and find out if anyone knows me. Before venturing out into more dangerous space, I'd better get a stronger and better armed ship though.
A bit of intrigue today. I'm still running missions for agents and mining to make ends meet, but the corporation is in turmoil. Some member have left on account of the small size of this corporation. And one pilot has gotten the boot from the CEO, for stealing and selling off company supplies. This pilot happens to be Skelly. I've yet to hear from our CEO what the situation is, but it doesn't look like Skelly will be back.
Is Skelly a thief? Or is Black January the dishonest powermonger Skelly tells me he is? I'll just have to be careful for the moment and not trust people too easily...
After some conversation, I've sorted out the situation with Skelly and Black January. Apparently, Skelly -is- a thief by corp rules and Black January was right to oust him. A bit harsh, maybe, but Skelly should have though of that before getting canned, I suppose. I do have to watch those rules myself, though. Luckily I can check 'em out anytime at the corporate website.
Today knew some setbacks... I've overextended myself and went after a couple of pirates on a mission for a level II agent. But they got the better of me and destroyed the Cabal II. I've managed to salvage some of its parts and purchased a new vessel, the Cabal III Imicus. I'll have to be more careful and better prepared when I venture into future battles...
Time flies out here. I've learnt a lot of learning skills and have become quite adept at refining ore. So much so, that a couple of other pilots (Barry Wild, Gorsha74 and Phrank Phish) now work with me to maximize profits for all. Since this requires me to haul large amounts of ore and minerals, I have learnt the neccessary skills to pilot large industrial vessels.
I now own a small fleet, including a Kestrel for hauling minerals or assaulting targets with a battery of rockets, a Gallente Shuttle for those fast runs and planning bookmarks, a Maulus for mining and a Badger to haul large amounts of ore and minerals.
I've also learnt to use the station's factory and laboratory facilities. I can now produce my own combat drones to defend me when I mine alone, which saves a lot of money and might even make me some.
Today I finally found a clue to my current condition. During some downtime, I was studying the nets, increasing my scientific skills, when I ran across an article on Pilot's Amnesia Syndrome (PAS). Apparently, pilots are known to suffer this rare affliction as a result of making long deep-space travels at warp speed. It appears they get hypnotized by the warp tunnel when they stare into its vanishing point for too long and prolonged exposure to that hypnosis will eventually eradicate the entire long-term memory in these subjects.
Why I would have travelled for months on end at warp speed, instead of using gates is beyond me... But it is the first plausible explanation I have heard for my memory loss and there may be a lot of truth to it. The bad news is, none of the subjects diagnosed with PAS have ever regained their memory, even after years of intensive therapy or even nanolytical neuro-surgery with the purpose of reconstructing disconnected engrams.
If I suffer from PAS, it means I will have to find out about my past myself and I should no longer hope for the return of my memory...
I've started a corporation with some other miners, traders and fighters. Vertigo corp is a promise for all our futures and it has given my existance a renewed purpose. The longer I stay and work here, the less I wonder about my past. Days pass in which I don't give it a single thought.
We've had another brushing with the traitor Major Skelly, which culminated in the pirate corporation Burn Eden hiring him under false pretenses and then killing him repeatedly. This broke his spirit and we haven't heard from him since, nor has anyone. He was a treacherous thief and I say good riddance...
I've outlined our main goals and some corporation rules on the networks. (eve.grismar.net/vertigo)